Sitting in the interview room facing the 2 interviewers, I absolutely love the moment when the interviewers ask The Question “Tell me about yourself.”

Ah, that is a question I love best.This is MY chance to shine and show off.This is the chance to tell the interviewers how knowledgeable I am.This is the chance for them to sit up and listen and to know how valuable I will be to the company.

Let me take a deep breath first.Ah, now I am ready to start.

“First, let me talk about my academic achievement.I am the TOP student from the TOP university in the country.I know EVERYTHING, absolutely EVERYTHING, in my field of specialization.

I am also well-informed in current affairs.I read 3 newspapers every day.Yes, read, not browse.I read every single word in the newspaper.

Now let’s talk about my management philosophy.I believe absolutely in delegation.I have never lifted a finger to any work that I can delegate away.You see, delegation is the way to develop talents.I absolutely love to see people work hard, learn and maximize their potential.

So what exactly is my role?That’s easy.As their superiors, I give them pointers.I tell them what to doThey need to put in at least 40 hours of hard work after listening to my words of wisdom for 5 minutes.

Once you hire me, I will make sure that every single worker under me works very hard.I will make sure that they bring in $1,000 in revenue for every dollar that you pay them.I will make sure that they think of work the minute they wake up in the morning.I will make sure that they work, I mean, really work, every single second they stay in the office.

I will also make sure that they create business proposals in their dreams.”

Well, there are still a lot more I want to say, but I got to breathe.At this moment, the interviewers predictably ask the next question I love.

The question is “Can you guarantee this?”

“Of course, please set it as my key performance indicator.I will definitely hit the target after six months on the job.I will generate $1,000 in revenue for every dollar that you pay for my staff.”

Why six months?Dear readers, I can see the question in your face.

Well, six month is a reasonable period of time to get rid of the old underperforming team.After I get rid of all of them, I will bring in my own dedicated team of hooligans.

Do I get the job offer?

Of course!Which boss does not want to see revenue of $1,000 for every dollar he pays out?